Apparently, once you pass 40, you are “getting old.”
I've had a few people tell me this recently, either in reference to myself or someone else who is in that odd purgatory between young and truly “old.” When they say it, I can hear the inferred “you’re screwed/worthless” as they wave their hands in the air in an attempt to shoo away the big black cloud of doom that hovers near.
Don't fret so much. If you get any on you it rinses right out.
The impression that I get from this statement is twofold. One, that I’m not old yet. I’ve still got a way to go, but I’m definitely getting there and that’s a bad thing (which is a pile of horse shit). Two, that I’m no longer “young” either, I’ve moved squarely out of that category, and into an inbetween state that is socially worthless (which is a steaming pile of horse shit).
At this point, you might be wondering what this is all about. Feeling a little insecure there, buddy? The years weighing on you a bit? Pining for the glory days of thy youth? A mild mid-life crisis rearing it’s Corvette driving, sunglasses wearing, touch of grey blowing in the wind, as you stupid-cool your way to pick up the kids from Girl Scouts head?
Wait, it’s about women, isn't it?
The impression that I get from this statement is twofold. One, that I’m not old yet. I’ve still got a way to go, but I’m definitely getting there and that’s a bad thing (which is a pile of horse shit). Two, that I’m no longer “young” either, I’ve moved squarely out of that category, and into an inbetween state that is socially worthless (which is a steaming pile of horse shit).
At this point, you might be wondering what this is all about. Feeling a little insecure there, buddy? The years weighing on you a bit? Pining for the glory days of thy youth? A mild mid-life crisis rearing it’s Corvette driving, sunglasses wearing, touch of grey blowing in the wind, as you stupid-cool your way to pick up the kids from Girl Scouts head?
Wait, it’s about women, isn't it?
Of course it’s about women. If you have a penis between your legs, it’s about women*. Any man that tells you differently is a liar, or is trying to impress a woman. Which is usually the same thing.
That’s a whole other can of worms, though. Woman are a mystery, wrapped in an enigma, Rubik’s Cube, tilting, about to topple Jenga stack, impossible level Sudoku, Mario World in ultra-challenge mode conundrum that’s way beyond the scope of this bit of philosophical fluff. Women my age seem to be mostly enamored with the idea of being some sort of jungle cat (I would have picked marsupials, they’re way cuter and more versatile), so the point is largely moot, anyhow. Let’s set that issue aside for a moment.
The core issue is our society’s view on men who have broken the four oh barrier. Not old, but “getting” old is a bad thing. If you're “old” you have value. There’s a certain honor to it, an achievement unlocked, you've made it and deserve to enjoy it for a awhile. If you’re young, you’re... a market. Which at least has monetary value. “Getting” old, though, infers you’re really neither. You’re not marketable, but you haven’t quite earned it yet, either. The phrase “getting” old is used as a joke... for a joke.
Honestly, the first time someone actually said that to me, I got pissed off. Seriously? “Getting” old. I don't even get the courtesy of being old, I’m just in the process of obtaining it? And WTF do you mean old? Odds are I've barely passed the halfway point in my life! And what’s wrong with “old” to begin with? Seriously?
That’s a whole other can of worms, though. Woman are a mystery, wrapped in an enigma, Rubik’s Cube, tilting, about to topple Jenga stack, impossible level Sudoku, Mario World in ultra-challenge mode conundrum that’s way beyond the scope of this bit of philosophical fluff. Women my age seem to be mostly enamored with the idea of being some sort of jungle cat (I would have picked marsupials, they’re way cuter and more versatile), so the point is largely moot, anyhow. Let’s set that issue aside for a moment.
The core issue is our society’s view on men who have broken the four oh barrier. Not old, but “getting” old is a bad thing. If you're “old” you have value. There’s a certain honor to it, an achievement unlocked, you've made it and deserve to enjoy it for a awhile. If you’re young, you’re... a market. Which at least has monetary value. “Getting” old, though, infers you’re really neither. You’re not marketable, but you haven’t quite earned it yet, either. The phrase “getting” old is used as a joke... for a joke.
Honestly, the first time someone actually said that to me, I got pissed off. Seriously? “Getting” old. I don't even get the courtesy of being old, I’m just in the process of obtaining it? And WTF do you mean old? Odds are I've barely passed the halfway point in my life! And what’s wrong with “old” to begin with? Seriously?
That bit of pissing lasted about 43 seconds.
Then it occurred to me, as it rightly should, what a completely ridiculous statement it is. And more important, how even more ridiculous it is to get pissed off about it. By any measure, I’m better. Competing and comparing with no one else but myself, it’s fairly easy to work out. Just look at the basics. There are three aspects that make up the core of a man; physical, mental, and spiritual. Let’s have a peek at the scorecard.
Physical. I'll grant that I can't abuse and debase my body the way I did, say, fifteen years ago (though not from lack of effort or motivation, I assure you). However, I’m much better at taking care of it now. I’m stronger, move faster, fight harder, and am considerably healthier than I ever was in my “younger years.” I can still bounce up and down on the bed all night and do a considerably better job of it than 10, 15, or even 20 years ago. Granted, I might need a couple of Advil and a nap afterward. At that point none of the participants really care, right? The “getting” old me wins this one hands down.
Mental. I’m smarter. Much smarter. Not more intelligent mind you. But what small bit of intelligence I may (arguably) have is put to better use. I know when to fight and when to roll with it. I know how to make money. I’m not a rich man, but I can certainly afford to take care of business. I'm more responsible. I know, right? Scary. I simply make better decisions and can deal with the ones that aren't better more effectively. In the mental department, my “getting” old self is light years ahead.
Spiritual. Confidence, surety, emotion, rationale, relationship with God, all that good stuff that makes us more than simple animals? Definitely better. Oh, I’m a mess, I'll grant. My ex has shacked up with some dude (never liked her that much lately anyhow, so good for her), I'm in love with a woman I can’t be in love with (14 years off the market, jump back in, and still doing the same damn thing), and the whole world is crashing down around my ears. 20 years ago I was able to deal with one of those at a time. Today, I know better. Everything at once? Bring it. It’s all cool. Soul sucking situations still come up, but the soul stays intact. I may not ever be perfect on this score, but the spiritual side of my “getting” old self is definitely better with a little seasoning.
By any measure, me vs me, I'm better. Not every man gets better when he’s “getting” old, mind you. Those that do, though, get significantly better than their younger self. Yet, our society too often devalues “getting” older.
It’s completely backwards.
You say “ You're getting old.”
I say, thank you. That’s very kind of you say.
Now, you little prick... grab me a couple of Advil and go ask your mother if she would like to jump up and down on the bed for awhile. Thanks.
-CDE
*In difference to my gay friends, I’ll add a caveat. Please insert the gender of your choice where appropriate. The point is the same.
Then it occurred to me, as it rightly should, what a completely ridiculous statement it is. And more important, how even more ridiculous it is to get pissed off about it. By any measure, I’m better. Competing and comparing with no one else but myself, it’s fairly easy to work out. Just look at the basics. There are three aspects that make up the core of a man; physical, mental, and spiritual. Let’s have a peek at the scorecard.
Physical. I'll grant that I can't abuse and debase my body the way I did, say, fifteen years ago (though not from lack of effort or motivation, I assure you). However, I’m much better at taking care of it now. I’m stronger, move faster, fight harder, and am considerably healthier than I ever was in my “younger years.” I can still bounce up and down on the bed all night and do a considerably better job of it than 10, 15, or even 20 years ago. Granted, I might need a couple of Advil and a nap afterward. At that point none of the participants really care, right? The “getting” old me wins this one hands down.
Mental. I’m smarter. Much smarter. Not more intelligent mind you. But what small bit of intelligence I may (arguably) have is put to better use. I know when to fight and when to roll with it. I know how to make money. I’m not a rich man, but I can certainly afford to take care of business. I'm more responsible. I know, right? Scary. I simply make better decisions and can deal with the ones that aren't better more effectively. In the mental department, my “getting” old self is light years ahead.
Spiritual. Confidence, surety, emotion, rationale, relationship with God, all that good stuff that makes us more than simple animals? Definitely better. Oh, I’m a mess, I'll grant. My ex has shacked up with some dude (never liked her that much lately anyhow, so good for her), I'm in love with a woman I can’t be in love with (14 years off the market, jump back in, and still doing the same damn thing), and the whole world is crashing down around my ears. 20 years ago I was able to deal with one of those at a time. Today, I know better. Everything at once? Bring it. It’s all cool. Soul sucking situations still come up, but the soul stays intact. I may not ever be perfect on this score, but the spiritual side of my “getting” old self is definitely better with a little seasoning.
By any measure, me vs me, I'm better. Not every man gets better when he’s “getting” old, mind you. Those that do, though, get significantly better than their younger self. Yet, our society too often devalues “getting” older.
It’s completely backwards.
You say “ You're getting old.”
I say, thank you. That’s very kind of you say.
Now, you little prick... grab me a couple of Advil and go ask your mother if she would like to jump up and down on the bed for awhile. Thanks.
-CDE
*In difference to my gay friends, I’ll add a caveat. Please insert the gender of your choice where appropriate. The point is the same.
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